Uncategorized » Shame, Fear and Finding Your Voice

Shame, Fear and Finding Your Voice

by | Jun 9, 2021 | 0 comments

Have you ever second-guessed yourself before speaking in a meeting? Do you dread giving business presentations for fear that you will embarrass yourself, make a mistake, or be judged harshly?

You aren’t alone. Bishop T.D. Jakes wrote an entire chapter on public speaking fear in his new book, “Don’t Drop the Mic”.

As a public speaking coach, many of my clients hold on to past performance mistakes way too long or doubt the contributions they have to offer. If you suffer from “past-performance shame” or “nothing new to offer” thinking, I suggest two mindset shifts to free yourself from this toxic thinking.

Shame and fear can hold you back from speaking up and sharing your unique perspective. These two mental roadblocks—shame and fear—will keep you from making a big impact in your career or your business.

To remove the twin roadblocks of shame and fear, try these two solutions. They will help you find and amply your public speaking voice and raise your influence as a leader.

SHAME PROBLEM: You avoid public speaking opportunities because you constantly relive your past presentation mistakes. You are still carrying the shame, pain and embarrassment of a disappointing performance.

SOLUTION: Look closely at what went right and what went wrong during your last presentation. Get feedback and advice. Most public speaking problems can be avoided with practice and training.

Videotape your presentations, seek another point of view, and change your delivery and preparation. Turn to a Toastmasters club or a public speaking coach to help you correctly diagnose and cure your presentation issues.

Your past does not accurately predict your future. You can move past your performance mistakes and grow as a speaker.

FEAR PROBLEM: You fear that your words or opinion are not worth sharing. You lack confidence in your unique experiences, viewpoint, and voice. You let an “I don’t have anything new to add” mindset talk you out of giving presentations.

SOLUTION: Ask yourself two questions: “What have I learned that is worth sharing?” and “What have I done, seen, or read about that can solve a problem, inspire someone or make a difference”?

You have stories, experiences, and knowledge you can share. You have a unique perspective, personality and talent that can make a difference. Don’t let your lack of self-confidence or a laundry list of excuses keep you from speaking up.

As Bishop Jakes wrote so eloquently:

“Excuses will always pop up like weeds in the sidewalk cracks, but you must never let them keep you from moving forward and letting your voice be heard.”

If you’re struggling with fear, shame or finding your public speaking voice, schedule a free strategy session with me at: https://betterspeakingskills.us/contact/

Rosalyn Porter

Rosalyn Porter

Rosalyn Gist Porter, MBA, founded Better Speaking Skills after more than 20 years in corporate communications as a manager, writer, and editor, for major corporations such as Lockheed Martin. Today, she helps coaches, business owners, executives, salespeople, sales teams, and other professionals increase sales, confidence, and influence with powerful public speaking and presentation skills! Rosalyn is Certified World Class Speaking Coach and a proud member of the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce of Metro Orlando.

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